You will always be my summer girl

You don't know what you do to me
I cannot speak
I cannot sleep
One more touch and I fall apart
There goes my beer
There goes my heart
Upside down in the afternoon
I'm going back
I'm consumed
One more kiss and I start to reel
I want to take
I want to steal

You and me
Are the ones
Who will know when it's done?
And if it's real?
Then you'll know
When I go
Just let go

I tried too many in a local bar
We had some drinks
We trashed your car
You touched my thigh in the underlights
You smiled and said
"This is our chance"
They tried to save me
But it was no good
It's just a shadow where I stood
Whatever happens in the afterworld
You'll always be my summer girl

hohum. finished with my graphical projec! yas and almost done with my first draft of a dumb paper. stars be going through my head. super bored, want to sleep or watch youtube videos. yeah prob gonna do that soon. I have a massive headwouldache that'd i like to take of. man ive been going through flashdrives like they be water. man so little space. ate with the pergians it was nice. nice to not have to be a certain way socially. nice to be liked. nice to like others. people from my graph class are actually saying hi to me in the hallways so I feel like I'm not a dumb cootie patootie. its a word goodle. thats a word too. I already want this fucking sem to end its too much already. I'm starting to give a crap but still. wtf does more squatty mean? do you want me to poop on my proj? miss. lol angry bois. why so angry. I know why. agressive parents and bullies. yep. ok off to lala land. goodnight folks

thanks

How to Self Validate

Self-validation: Respecting yourself, letting yourself feel, think, and want with acceptance – no judgments, second-guessing, or devaluing yourself.

With Mindfulness (about):

• Observe, participate, and describe your thoughts and feelings non-judgmentally.
• Let judgments pass. Notice but do not hold onto them, let them go.
• Observe your thinking without participating or believing it’s true.
• Identify and describe your feelings precisely.
• Allow yourself to feel your emotions without avoiding them, escaping from them, acting impulsively, or numbing out from them. Try to manage your emotions skillfully.
• Honor your own values.

Using Radical Acceptance (about):

• Look for legitimacy and understanding within yourself, truthfully and without judgment.
• Try to radically accept your feelings, thoughts, or actions as they are.
• Respect your own experience with willingness.
• Broaden and balance your views on what you are invalidating, putting them in a new context.

Change your response to yourself:

• Act like you take yourself seriously.
• Acknowledge your normative emotions without judging them.
• Identify problematic behavior and try to change it.
• Nurture and support yourself or seek support from others.
• Show the same compassion for yourself as you would for any human.
• Use your wise mind.

Note: Without self-validation, you might criticize yourself, beat yourself up, or feel embarrassment or shame when something happens.You would likely retreat from these emotions and fall into the same self-defeating patterns.

A self-validating pattern after an event might include:

1. Catching self-invalidation early.
2. Noticing your emotions and check the facts. Ask “what happened?” or “what would another non-judgmental person feel?’
3. Watch for more complex emotions like shame, but trust your primary emotions.
4. Don’t call yourself names like “jerk” or “idiot.”
5. Identify what you want and respect it.
6. Identify your vulnerabilities.
7. Ask yourself if what you’re feeling makes sense or if other people would react similarly.
8. Actively tell yourself how your emotions, sensations, and wants make sense.
9. Self-soothe.
10. Re-engage with your life in the moment as a valid, respected person.

Bottom line: Judging yourself usually leads to shame. If you feel shame, check whether you have violated your values. If you have not, try to stay in your primary emotion. Describe your wants and the situation. Try to allow yourself to just be; notice and describe. If you are still struggling to self-validate, ask yourself how you might treat somebody else and give yourself the same respect.

Hello

i am going through a roller coaster full of emotions including the most infamous anxiety. Heard a old new fall out boy song saying live another day well and give em hell. It was very inspiring. I wished they still have empowering music but it doesn't resonate with me anymore. Also futures saving my life with sammys brutal honesty and jangling poppy notes that hit me in the feels. I feel like I can do a little bit now. I've been in a dire way. If I can get out of my weirdness I can do more again. Idk if personality tests are correct. What if you never had the chance to be your true self. What if ur true self is hidden from the world. What if you don't really like anything, just living day by day. Or maybe you like everything in equal amounts but don't want to stick or can stick to anything. I'm like seriously swamped with feelings of being swamped. I haven't felt this since maybe first years of com college. I've been doing Arting for a long time. I forgot what I was going say here, something remarkable charming and inspiring? Anyways feeling better but feeling apathetic to the core. My colors are still bright, but my life seems sort of on the fringes of fake. Hopefully life gives me lemonade and I bask in the lovely sunshine. It's good I want to be happy. For a couple of hours today I was looking backward into being a frumpy toad stool willy wart. Good on me I guess.

hohoho

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

OK

wow this is huge, thats what she said. whats up with all these fake ass accounts of twitter? uggh. things in classes are doing fine, except for the class I actually enjoy the most, im really serious about it, but for some reason I am not getting the exact picture that the teacher wants. I know I did my best and I know that I improved so much. Also its readable, thats one of my most important tenants... err gads. bye!!

It's time for a change

Aww I'm really enjoying my art class like I'm being energized to be my fullest potential, and I actually want to do well. My teacher is super nice and awnsers all the questions and makes us asks questions. I can tell he really enjoys teaching and being awesome. Total upgrade from jerk face teacher. Uggggh never again. I'm actually trying to be compelling and not shitting on my work, ok kinda making things up, but doesn't everyone? Thanks writing zine teacher you inspired me to keep letting my freak flag fly and not be apologetic, now I feel like I'm doing it again I'm it makes me feel really proud. I'm delving deep into the ass of art and making something as simplistic be total complex and mind blowing. Yeah and he didn't use any student work. All pros, so you know the level he's aiming for. Ok I feel hungry again. So I'm going get some chow. Yet the level of modesty in our little class is enormous correlating to the extreme talent in the room, i really love love this class. I feel like this will be one of those classes I adore and remember years and years later. Whew lots of ass kissing sounding but srsly amazing class, I can't wait to go to class and show my stuff too. Ok ok I'm out like a light bulb slash handcuffs cuz that's how you think.

Ok

Tommorow gonna see Mariah maybe... For the first time in months hehe omg so excite! And finally got Barney!!! Kekz soooooo semester is going ok, spending my waking hours coming up with something surprising yet simple yet combines two themes it's not going swimmingly. I thought I was doing fine but I guess I doing a bit too much. Or putting too much personal opinion on it... Even though it's my work. Well I guess not everyone can be a vegetarian eh? Yeah gotta eat cuz I'm hungry! Eating a nourishing meal does refresh myself so that's what I'm gonna countinue to do. Later folks

Pass gas or ass

This year persistants and blind faith work. And  some people shouldn't be teachers the goal isn't to hear yourself talk and be above well actually he was the first to say thank you, maybe under the fluff is nerves of steel. Probably. Yay I actually have people with higher aspirations in my new class, and sweeter people, there's no sense of oppression looming and ghetto ass people who laugh into their hands shyly it's not japan. And your white. Ugh. I finally saw xianmetal dude I was like he exists I swore that he quit school, naw him and his fine mane exists! He is so fucking good looking I just can't. So basically he's around the library around early lunch time... Hur hur. I haven't seen Mariah I hope he won't ask me major questions. I will probably die in a million suns when I see him again if he still worx there. I'm soooo tired but I can't help to celebrate my first Friday off ever!!! Yeah... I'm gonna go to fbook and lurk as you shall say. Ugh. Night my lil buttered almonds. Yeah my new class also has a inspiring teacher that is teaching us the basic and most important parts of what we do. So inspirational I feel like what I do matters and I can be capable of doing good work. Wow look at this fucking confidence builder... And he has the best accent ever! Haha. Nite

omydear lord

I found the most precious dude in all the land. he has andy horst face going on and omg sooooooooo cute. hed probably not appreciate me spamming on him like woah. hes such a telling guy... but I looked on his soc net and omg messy as hale. like what even? i dont know if he even knows about privatized shit but uhh airing your dirty laundry is pretty heinous. also I think he may be of the trans sort. gaah, i'll just pretend that i didnt see that. and may be a lesbian? coming out? say what you are a dude, I guess he has boobs down there. his voice and features are still manely. this is out of some lia block shiznit, like srsly oohh you figgity fig shit im like say what chicken butt. ok hes fine as hale but still a confusing specimen. likes bad food, likes fatty foods, does not like strange women with huge bazoomas touching him, does not like speedos, is not a addictive viner cough. has a girlfriend is a lesbian/ dude thing, may be a scene kid who never made it out, is wayyyy older than i thought, has a wicked dirty mind but is tired of cah bless his kind gentle soul. i'll just monitor from far away thank you very much. and some wierd ass guy did asl plus like centimeters and height what in the flying fuck world do you think that will impress a girl, especially if you look like a balding creeper from creepersvilles well shit you done got blocked. have fun in lonelycreepsville with monkey brian and shit. uggh i feel dirty just getting that, i bet he would be like you and i would be totes the bomb the com together uh excuse who the fuck are you? im kinda angry cuz someone hurt this precious angel and gosh darn why? like srsly he is like angelic encarnate. he liked my crazy chickens joke and listened to me and another chick talk and blab and rant and shit and he interjected like tons and i felt loved and shit and heart wormed in a good way. i feel like not really going to the meeting tommorow its my 1st one and already im feeling creeped the fuck out. ugggh. i guess im not looking for a fucking relationship unless its the guys who im already in love with, problems i feel bad for you lady i have a few problems but creepers aint one.... well actually imma stop you right there. its time for psychonaut time!!!! joyville! love you buttered lighted lamps!

bonus: a horst picspam!! yay

lalalalalala angels are singing, bad vibes are leaving.

betty has revival hands

Thnx rocket team!! once again filling my sadness and hopelessness into rechargeable energy. oh yester had about 6 hrs of sleep cuz i got food poisoning + too much alcohol without an substanstial meal, it was not pretty. i really hope i don't add dairy intolerant. soooooooo new teacher is not teaching this year so that kind of sucks mad balls. like I was freaking excited for is awesome ghetto fab style and hoped I could incorporate it into my style. uggggh. the unbreakable kimay has been making me smile like a loon, she is so forthcoming and gets where she needs to be even though life has screwed her in the face or something like that. been reading some chuck books and all of them are emotional thrilling, draining, and saddening. It makes me feel better for my less than death ordinary life, seriously every single time I think a deadly comment won't be slipping from the pages it comes and whams in the face. going to eat see yas!

bryce spam for pure happiness

OH SHIT
INCEPTION.
SAVING MY LIFE WITHIN SAVING MY LIFE CUZ 1D SAVES LONELY HEARTS
+ ROCKET SUMMER SAVES HOPELESS HEARTS= BUBBLY HEARTS

CRYING AT BEAUTY.... Jesus has risen!!!

e_e

sooooooooooooooooo once again psychonaut continues to be a perfect peach, ahahaha lordy im glad my face wasn't eaten by birds, my clothing wasn't ruined by my best friend, and my fiance broke up with me. Things have been pretty chill. Doing things slow, steady, and smartly. waiting for the opportune moment to come around and make my chance into the world sphere. yas so psychonaut is cutie patotie to the max and intelligent into the atmosphere. makes my inner kitten explode with glee. how is he real? idk? smiles warmly. ugh. just checking in to say im doing alright. hope dreams of milatent and doing real cute ass stuff together stifle into the confines of my head cuz he be a real angel pie face. what is with these weirdo nicknames hahaha idk all the feels.  nite my lil buttered almonds.

Maaaan

Shit got real srs on Thursday. Like I was down in the deepest dumps that I've been in since like yesteryear. It was truly a heinous experience. Sometimes I like to wallow around in my depression. That was not one of them ok maybe I allowed myself for a couple of minutes. Thinking of the angel Mariah basically saved my life. I made a lil skit or three and it was the most inspiring heartwarming thing that can come out of misery. Today or at least as much as I can I vowed to be social and let myself know I am loved and I am great how I am, I just am not great at something's I shouldn't push myself to be great at something I'm not it's just a backwards paradox I don't want to prescribe to. Today played games with the greatest people ever and they are local hell ya! I think I have another truly special guy militant, who never fails to make me feel special, noticed, laugh, and not feel like a massive sad tar dish clown being. And he can speak French omg, like please yes. He's hellllllla old but he is so massively attractive maybe cause he's mostly making me feel attractive so all around attractiveness is at its peak. Siiiigh. Mariah and milatant sitting on a tree, not fighting and feeding me grapes and telling me I'm awesome sauce and I'm adorable and hot and intelligent and charming and witty. And jay sons family I don't who said that I match wits with them. Eeeeeeeee! I was so happy to hear that! Uhg hopefully they still think I'm his BFF cuz I don't want to be da next level or shit. Mmmmmmmm milatant so witty so charming such a nice smile prob can carry me for a short distance and be oh me lady hear doth your chamber room, have doth a bittersweet night and I left chocolates on ur pillow and a some lavender for extra measure me lady. Oh god. Would me lady like to frolic with me in the fields of Lilly's and daisys, afterwards we can drink Capri sun under the moon and have finger sandwiches and sneak into a car theater me lady? Oh my god. I would be like sign me up for that princely train service express doth lady needs some loving. I'm such a fucking attention whore give all the attention to me I need it all. Please. Haha. Watch Colin firth films and snack he is surely a snacker. Maybe we are all lonely, we all need copious amounts of attention. I want to thank everyone who came out and said and played games even sneezy stinky pants McGee who I may have gotten sick from. I'm deeply pleased, please more. Until i pass the fuck out. Yep thank you it was great again.

lol

more like uncle fester makeup... here here! reading like crazy. playing the pan flute. played a supernatural game. learning new things. started a new cat calendar. starting an art project with the bff. its gonna be awesome i hope.  i'm watching funny playthroughs and videos and trying to chill out, im not being passive i'm being relaxed and that makes me happy. yeah. lets go with that. uggh sonny with a cover of hotline blinggie and it sucks so hard, i dont know what he was thinking. well the original wasnt that great either but it was catchy so yeah. this year I strive to work harder, be more creatively invested in my work, play less fake $ making apps, have a good meal once in awhile, don't go overboard on the fun, make sure to thousand check the information i provide for my review sheet, be ahead of checking the class scheduling, dance to wonderful wonderful music and not giving a fuck about people who judge me for it. I like what I like, so gtfo if ya can't handle the cheese. yup thats my list and im sticking to it.

Aren’t you tired of the way boys who feel feel?
all folded arms and compliments
in pain to feign their innocence
when what they really want is

what you really want is
not written on the bathroom stall
or pleasures more mechanical or manual
it’s worse than them all

In the kilt that you kept
out of guilt that you let
all your Fathers down
you were bold for a joke
but it went too well
now you’re going to hell

You could lie to me now but you won’t
I could try to be shy but I’m not
‘cuz where you’re going I want to be there
and there’s no use stopping
when the flames jump so near

In the street where we met
after everyone left
you wouldn’t say goodbye
you were bold for a joke
but it went too well
now you’re going to hell

You can dance on a Saturday night
till the light’s come on and the morning’s young
but when church bells ring, you’ll go off to him
and tell everything.

I know you had such good intentions
when you took my idle hand
what came next, well I think you can guess
it didn’t end well
we’re going to hell.

I keep praying just to keep the demons away

Ugh such a tard. My sometimes maybe always crushie psychonaut came to the motha fucking party sans girlfriend in the greatest butt hugging pants that ever lived existed and he like dropped something once and it was almost twerk omg. He's trying to fucking get my attention yet hates when I talk to him. Guys are wierd. He's so beautiful I literally died from gazing at him and poking my lil head out from time to time. I wish I was more his type. I was kinda of a awkward embarrassment. Like I was you totes need a group hug, and he was like noooooooooooooo forever times 2. I did inquire about the music thing that was going on. Haha he lives for the food. The best parts of the year had him in. Srsly he is like angelic butterfly love or retractable love tentacles. I hate to love him. He doesn't deserve it. I needed him tonight and he delivered the goods. This time I know he has someone. So I could distance myself before I throw myself on him and start spontaouely combusting or worse a love seizure. Oh god I really really hope Mariah didn't see that was the most embarssing thing I've ever done in public. Back to psychonaut he's so perfect just being in the same room was justice enough, he was the luck I need to kick myself back into study central. Oh god he's just great. He was my comedic buzzed sidekick. Sigh, le pepe, breadsticks only you can make unfunny ass shit funny. Thanks for coming this time, I was totally waiting last time and no dice.