you analyze it, obsess over it and talk ad nauseam about it with your friends. You continue to gather more information and knowledge. Then you take all this awareness and information that you have NOW, and beat yourself up because you did not know it THEN. It is totally unfair and unreasonable to take what you know now and use it to beat yourself up for what you didn’t know then.

Please take this in: You really truly did the best you could at the time! Trust me. And until you really take in this truth, you will stay stuck in regret.

do something: I wrote a compelling note to him privately.

consider poorer outcomes: I didn't get to meet teh sam, I didn't say anything and left immediately, I didn't say thank you (haha)

look for benefits: I can practice what I've learned from this occuroance. plan what i'm going to say, breathe

learn from past: hinking about a past mistake in the right way -- how it happened, how it felt, how you know it would affect you if it happened again -- can reduce your chances of repeating it

the golden rule: Something that I often do when initially regretting a decision, is say “Well, if I HAD (chosen the winning lotto numbers/invested in Lululemon/worn sunscreen/etc.), I would have subsequently…been hit by a bus.” 

I’m currently feeling (emotion) when I think about (event/decision/behaviour). At the time, doing that made sense to me because ______, but now that I have more information, it could have been more helpful to ______. Of course, I couldn’t have predicted this at the time, so this will be helpful in the future for me and the people with whom I feel safe sharing it if I encounter a similar situation.”